how can u be prego again
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
