im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
