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• (334): View more from Alabama

  I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is

  (1-334): View more from Alabama

  I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P

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• (225): View more from Louisiana

  Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!

  (1-225): View more from Louisiana

  Wtf?

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  Use the slutty part of ur brain.

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.

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• (727): View more from Florida

  Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea

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• (706): View more from Georgia

  I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.

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• (727): View more from Florida

  And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar

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• (334): View more from Alabama

  All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed

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