That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
