I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize
