He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
