Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(662): View more from Mississippi

I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.

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(925): View more from California

While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."

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(516): View more from New York

shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.

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(803): View more from South Carolina

I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.

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