In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
