oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Randomize
