the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
