I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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