1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Princesses don't give blow jobs
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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