Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
