If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize