used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Randomize
