yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
