i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
