well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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