I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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