North Korea, Best Korea!
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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