I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
