Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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