Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
