Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize