The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
