i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
