idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
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