no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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