You just made me feel so damn special
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
