when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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