she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
