It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Randomize
