How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
