The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
