woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
