Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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