Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Randomize
