If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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