We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Hippo gnu deer
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
