Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
