is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Use "feeling words"
Yay
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
