i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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