dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Randomize
