I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize