We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
