my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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