Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
