Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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