I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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