Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
