I wish I could teleport
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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