Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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