she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
