Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
